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When it comes to abundance, which money is an integral part of in today's world,
it isn't just about finding a way to get what you want. It's about what is
blocking you from getting what you want. Every person alive has internal blocks
to getting what they want. And nearly every person alive has internal blocks
related to money. But today, I'm going to reveal to you the number one thing
that is blocking financial abundance. [Music]
I'm going to tell you what it is first and then explain it in total detail so
you really get it and can apply this knowledge to your own life. The number
one thing that blocks people's financial abundance is beliefs and their
corresponding behaviors that block the things you want beliefs that block money
but that maintain negative loyalties to the people you care about.
We call these negative loyalty patterns. Human beings are a profoundly
relationally dependent species. Our capacity to survive and thrive is
dependent on our relationships. This is a beautiful thing because it could make
us masters of interdependence and symbiosis. But to the opposite, it can
open the door for some serious dysfunction.
As a person, your sense of survival and beyond that well-being is linked to your
level of closeness and alignment with the people in your life. So on a totally
subconscious level, you adopt beliefs and tell yourself and everyone else
stories that keep you aligned with, in confluence with, experiencing closeness
with, and allied to other people, most especially your early caregivers such as
your parents. But those beliefs and stories may be detrimental to your
well-being and best interests. if these beliefs block you from what you want and
need. Obviously, if they do that, they're detrimental. So, just to be
crystal clear, a negative loyalty pattern can take on many, many forms,
but the function is the same. It's a belief and/or behavior that keeps you
aligned with, in confluence with, experiencing closeness with, and allied
to another person. Again, most especially our early caregivers, but
that is detrimental to your well-being and best interests. If you want to learn
even more about this, by the way, you can watch my video that's titled, "What
is a negative loyalty pattern?" So, now you're probably wondering, "Well, how
exactly does this work? How does a negative loyalty pattern block financial
abundance?" To explain this, I'm going to give you some examples. Let's say
that you have a mother who feels burdened by you. She doesn't actually
want to be caretaking a child. And a lot of the elements of caretaking are about
providership. And therefore, your mother is your first experience of abundance.
You're likely to adopt a belief that you don't deserve abundance in order to keep
yourself feeling close to your mother. After all, if you did believe that you
deserve abundance, what would that have meant about your mother and her
relationship with you? Or for example, let's do a super common one. Say you're
a little toddler and you crawl towards the things you want, but the people in
your life keep picking you up and pulling you away from the things you're
trying to reach. You may adopt the belief, "I'm not going to get what I
want in life. there's no point to going for it. But this belief keeps you from
facing the fact that the people in your life keep acting as an oppositional
force to your desires rather than as a supporting force to your desires. It
keeps you allied with them. Or for example, say that you grew up in a
wealthy family and you spent your childhood always watching your dad
working and making money and never having any time for you. So you develop
the belief that making money keeps you away from relationships. As a result,
you feel resistance to focusing on money and you end up the person in the family
who's not very successful financially. But what you don't see is that this
belief, this story that you tell yourself may cover for the fact that
your dad isn't actually dedicated to having relationships in general, maybe
most especially a relationship with his kids. You never put it together that dad
does always make time for golf. He makes time for the things that he wants to do.
This belief about money can cover over the reality that your dad did not
actually want to put energy and time and effort into the relationship with you.
The belief that money keeps you away from relationships limits your abundance
because why? Well, you're not going to go for money because focusing on money
is going to make you feel alone. It's basically a built-in shock mechanism, a
shock collar against money. But it does keep you more close to your
father, more with him than admitting that it wasn't money that kept him away
from you. He chose to do that on his own all along. It is worth a special mention
that beliefs around your worthiness or deserving of the things you want have an
especially direct link to these negative loyalty patterns that affect abundance.
Something important to get is that thoughts, most especially beliefs, they
shape our perception of reality and we behave according to our perception of
reality. Beliefs create behavior. So if we have these beliefs that are
oppositional to the things we want, including money, we will be making
decisions and acting in ways that are oppositional to getting the things we
want. We will be acting in ways that are oppositional to money. It is in essence
a form of what we often call self-sabotage. The thing is is that
self-sabotage is really just about a part of us believing that a certain
behavior is in fact in our best interests, even if it comes with a
serious consequence. If you want to learn more about this, by the way, you
can watch my video that's titled There is no such thing as self-sabotage.
Everyone has these beliefs that help them to stay connected to the people
they love the most. And don't let your anger or resistance fool you. You're
probably still maintaining loyalty to people who you loved and were hurt by
and who you think you hate or even have let go of.
So, how do you find these beliefs? And what do you do with them once you find
them? Well, you want to look at your desires. As a person, you're constantly
wanting. Identify something you want and then ask yourself, why am I not able to
have that? Now, I'm not looking for you to have the answer.
What I'm looking for you to do is come up with a a list of kind of excuses as
to why you don't have it. There are likely several answers. I just want you
to put down whatever comes to mind. You don't have to be right. The goal is to
get yourself to kind of vomit up all kinds of thoughts that you've been
thinking. For example, let's say that you were to write down, I want to be a
millionaire. Well, you ask yourself, why am I not able to have that? Who am I to
be a millionaire? Everyone wants to be a millionaire. It doesn't mean everyone
can be. I don't have any good ideas. The chance of me winning the lottery is
like one in 80 million. The only way I can do that is to win the lottery. Every
millionaire I've ever met has a more aggressive go-getter personality than
me. You get the point, right? Whole list like that. Now, here's the thing. Any
question that you could ever ask yourself regarding the why you don't
have finances or the why you don't have the things you want, point to these
beliefs. For example, if you ask yourself, why do other people have
wealth regardless of whether they're good people or not and I don't is a
great question to ask yourself. It's important to really get that money is
really only a tool that people use in order to get what they want. So, it
isn't about money. It's about the things you want. But you can do this exercise
relative to something specific you want and or you can do this exercise relative
to money in and of itself. And if you're somebody who really wants to increase
your finances, I would do both. These beliefs are inherent in any point of
resistance that you hit to what you want. I want fill in the blank. Limit
limit prevention block. For example, I want money. Money ruins society. Money
is hard to come by. The only way I can make more money is to work more. And I'm
already too maxed out at work. No one knows how to make money that fast. And
no one I know has money, etc. You get the point, right? I want this thing
block block block block block block block block block block block block
block block block block block block block block block block block. Once you
find these beliefs with each one you want to ask yourself if I were to
maintain this belief to preserve my idea of someone or my view of someone who
would that someone be. You also want to ask yourself and how would this belief
manage to do that? You can also ask yourself having this thing that I want
whatever you wrote down maybe even having everything I could ever want.
this would be a problem for who and why would it be a problem for them? Based on
the answer, you can also probably identify other beliefs that you've
adopted to stay aligned with them. The good news is once you see this emotional
superglue purpose behind these beliefs, it loosens them in your being. After
all, if we're telling ourselves this stuff in order to maintain a closeness
and loyalty to someone, is it really true? You can then change these beliefs.
to change them. You want to ask yourself with each belief, can I know that this
is 100% beyond a shadow of a doubt true? Let's be honest, most of us can't answer
yes to that. You also want to spend a moment thinking about what kinds of
thoughts you think, how you feel, what decisions you make, the ways you act,
the actions you have taken and continue to take or potentially didn't take, and
the actions you refuse to take. When you believe that thought, you want to really
drive it into your being how horrible this particular belief has been for you
and is. Okay. From there, what you want to do is first come up with alternative
evidence and proof to destroy the belief as well as to destroy the emotional
payoff you're getting from keeping that belief. Basically, prove it doesn't keep
you close and loyal to the person that that belief serves that purpose for.
Second, choose what belief you would like to replace the previous one with.
And third, write down evidence to support this new belief and proof that
backs up this new belief so that you develop a belief in it instead. Okay, so
I'm going to give you a picture of how this looks. Let's say that you discover
the belief it takes time to make money because there's lots of steps you need
to take. Let's say that you realize that this belief would serve your father
because he had to slowly climb the ladder and work hard to be successful
and he definitely made sure to make you aware of that growing up. Well, if you
were to make money quickly without needing to jump through the hoops that
he had to jump through, you may feel a loss of belonging with him, the
father-son relationship you grew up with, where he was teaching you about
the world and about how to make it as a man would change. You may feel like you
surpassed your dad. And that's terrifying because suddenly it feels
like you're alone in the world and maybe it's the closest you've come to the
feeling of exposure. You may feel guilty or like a bad person for causing a
potential self-esteem collapse in your dad. So, you're trying to maintain that
sense of goodness and that sense of closeness with him. Now, relative to
that belief, you're going to ask yourself, "Can I know beyond a shadow of
a doubt that this is 100% true, then you're going to look through all the
ways that this belief makes you feel, makes you behave, what it makes you
think, the actions it makes you take or fail to take." Now, what you're going to
do is you're going to shoot holes in the evidence for this belief that it takes
time to make money. Also, the emotional payoff that you get. So, what this could
look like is hard work and time are not the only inputs for financial success.
Um, offering value and solving a problem could get you far more money far
quicker. How about I'm not actually a good person if I'm limiting myself
because I would also be limiting my father in terms of what he can achieve.
I'm not actually close to my dad if he needs me to be smaller than he is to
have a good relationship with him. Another one could be I know somebody
that makes so much money in a matter of minutes and it's just down to what job
he has. Okay, you get the point. You can keep going for a very long time. Now,
let's say that you switch to this new belief and let's say that the new belief
that you want to have is money can come quickly and easily when I create value.
Now, let's say that your proof for this is there's a lot of times where I have
landed huge deals because my client knew somebody else that was looking for the
solution that I was offering. Or maybe the way that technology is developing so
rapidly turns people into overnight successes. Or the richest people in the
world that I watch quite often say that making money is not about time, it's
about having the right idea. What I want you to keep in mind is that
I've given you an example that gives you a taste of what you should be doing. In
reality, you need to find far more proof for both shooting holes in the old
belief and for supporting the new belief. You want to get yourself to the
place where you really feel the new one a lot more than you feel the old one. In
fact, you look at the old belief and you're like, "That's kind of dumb." You
can also do belief turnarounds such as let's say that I have the belief money
is hard to earn. Some examples of turnarounds for this belief could be
money is easy to earn. Poverty is hard to earn. Money is hard to be gifted. I
am hard to earn. and challenge yourself to think outside the box. So as come up
with at least four items of proof that turn that the turnaround thought like
the new thought basically is even more true or as true as the original belief.
If you really want to dive into this concept about how to do turnarounds for
beliefs, Byron Katie's process that's called the work is really great for this
one. Because negative loyalty patterns are the number one block for finances.
Don't forget to challenge any beliefs that having money or having any one
thing that you want is oppositional to relationships. For example, if I get
rich, I won't belong anymore. Or money corrupts people. In case you're
interested, I have an entire vault of meditations that are designed to
overhaul your mentality and personal vibration around abundance and finances.
The link to this vault will be in the description of this video. It is my
intention that this exercise frees up those things that are keeping you away
from whatever it is that you are wanting and that as a result you line up
instantly with whatever it is that you have been wanting. Just remember that
finances are a gateway to having what you want but not if you believe that
finances themselves are the limitation to having what you want. Have a good
week. [Music]