It's Easier to Get Into Mexico Than Costco : Jimmy O. Yang - en

like about 10 years ago i went on a college trip to tijuana mexico

because that's just what a good american college student would do

and the thing is walking into mexico from the u.s they don't check anything

there's just a big revolving door you walk right in they don't check your id

it's easier to get into mexico than a costco you just walk in

and that's it but coming back was a totally different

story coming back from mexico to the u.s there's no more revolving doors now it's

a concrete windowless tunnel with guards with m16 machine guns

and i was super nervous being an immigrant and all and my college buddy

ian next to me he was like jimmy don't worry man just just just tell the

american they let you right through i'm like easy for you to say

ian ian walks up he gets through no prom i

walk up the first thing they'd ask me they're like sir are you an american

citizen i was like yes

but i forgot one very minor detail that i wasn't

[Applause] i was still an immigrant on a green card

and i wasn't a full-on citizen yet next thing you know i was detained in this 10

by 10 box and they started interrogating me they're like sir why did you lie

about your american citizenship i was like i'm so sorry i'm drunk and i really

wasn't trying to lie my friend in front of me told me to tell you i was american

so that's just what i did it was a knee-jerk reaction he was like well was

he american i was like well his name is ian so

probably and then the officer was like sir you do

understand this is a very serious offense we could deport you for this

i was like deport me i didn't know that was an option

what was i going to do back in hong kong restart my ping pong career

that ship has sailed man so i was like sir please please don't

deport me i'm just drunk stupid college dude i'm every bit american i can recite

you every single jay-z lyric if you want me to

i'm in three fantasy football leagues if that's not american i don't know what it

is and i got very lucky this is what he

said he was like look kid you got lucky we're not gonna deport you

today okay but just don't ever do that again or we

send you back to where you came from and this was asian

i was like where i came from we came from the same place dog

i think i saw you at my uncle's wedding two years ago

why are you gonna throw me under the bus that guy definitely watched the great

wall many times but that was a very sobering experience

i'd been in the country for 10 years at that point but i still wasn't american

nothing has changed i finally got my citizenship three years

ago and it's

you don't have to clap my point is nothing has changed

still asian just because i got a new passport nobody

in any part of the world is going to come up to me and be like hey look

there's an american holy he looks just like rocky

balboa oh my god no no no the first day i got my passport

i was feeling real patriotic so i went to my local hooters

yeah i was drinking a coors light i was

watching a world cup it was usa versus mexico and i was like man i'm cheering

for team usa i'm american finally and this old mexican dude came up to me he

couldn't really speak english and this is what he said he was like amigo

amigo mexico

korea tomorrow huh

emily what the are you talking about

what are you trying to start world war three or something

i'm not even korean he managed to insult me with the only three english words he

knew so i really felt the need to explain

myself i was like sir i'm just i'm not i'm not korean i'm chinese and he looked

back to his friends he was like oh pinchy chinito huh

and i'm like sir you do know that i can understand what that means okay i have

mexican friends back home just like you he was like no i'm not mexican i'm el

salvador i'm like oh great now i'm the racist

[Applause] you