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Hey there. If you've been watching videos and interviews or attending my
workshops, you have probably heard mention of the completion process, but
you may not have a solid idea about exactly what it is and what it's for.
Simply put, the completion process is a process which helps you to resolve and
heal from trauma. If we distill it down to its essence, the completion process
is a process where you deliberately use a trigger to go back to an unresolved
trauma that is at the root of that trigger. so as to consciously
reexperience it. Reverse the process of dissociation and fragmentation. Resolve
the distress that is still unresolved and gain massive awareness about
yourself that can then translate to positive changes in your daily life. But
wait a minute here if you feel like this doesn't apply to you because most people
have absolutely no idea that they have experienced trauma. And yet the reality
is all people have experienced some kind of trauma. So what does all this mean?
It means that we need to take a fresh new look at trauma. First of all, what
is trauma? A simple definition of trauma is distress without resolve. What should
stick out to you about this definition of trauma is that this could mean
anything from an infant being weaned to chronic experiences where you end up
feeling like your worth to others is only about the quality of your
performance all the way to a veteran watching comrades being blown up by
landmines at war to complex sex abuse and trafficking. Trauma is something
that happens in all demographics across all social classes to people of any age,
race, class, religion or sex. And there are so many types of trauma that a
person can experience. Everyone has experienced distress in their lifetime
that is unresolved. Everyone has made adaptations to their personality as a
result of experiencing trauma. And everyone's current adult life was
influenced by the traumas they experienced in childhood. And it is in
fact these events that lie at the very root of the vast majority of the
problems that we face and things we struggle with in our adult lives. I'm
going to say this again because it is so very important to understand the root of
the various issues you are facing in your adult life. Things you have no idea
have anything to do with past traumas that you have experienced
is trauma. Here is a very small list of what can be
caused by unresolved trauma. Stuckness, sexual issues, indecisiveness,
addictions, financial blockages, loneliness, a lack of purpose, fear of
failure, the feeling of not being good enough, social anxieties, numbness,
chronic stress and overwhelm, shame and guilt, patterns of self-sabotage, mental
illnesses, anxiety, powerlessness, control issues, physical health
ailments, identity crisis, perfectionism, codependency, fear of
intimacy, burnout, trouble setting boundaries, eating disorders, all kinds
of relationship problems in any type of relationship, PTSD, chronic
dissatisfaction in life, and believe me, so much more. Trauma changes the course
of our lives. When a trauma happens, we experience distress. We make that
painful thing that we've experienced mean something, and that in turn alters
the way we think, the choices we make in life, and the actions we take, the
behaviors we exhibit. People are often totally unaware of just how much the
traumas they have experienced influence the course of their lives. Now, let's go
a little deeper. As I mentioned in the beginning of this video, the completion
process uses a trigger as a doorway to resolving the trauma that is linked to
it. A trigger is anything that causes you to recall or bring to the surface
any element of a traumatic memory from your past. It can be a word, a tone, a
voice, a smell, a sensation, a face, a place, or any situation or thing.
You might not consciously know what is causing you also to suddenly feel sick,
hurt, anxious, or uneasy, but your subconscious mind knows. In this way, a
trigger is a reminder of a previous trauma, and it is a signal to address
the issue. Despite the fact that triggers are very often unpleasant,
triggers are not actually negative. Rather, they are an invitation for you
to resolve what is unresolved within you still. They're an invitation to
reintegrate fractured parts of yourself back into your being and to become whole
again. When memory surfaces as a result of a trigger, it doesn't necessarily
come back all at once in one neat and coherent chunk. This is because memory
is often stored in a fragmented way. The sites associated with the memory can be
stored separately from the sounds associated with a memory or the feelings
associated with a memory. Why is all this important? Well, because what this
means is that a trigger may cause only the feeling associated with a memory to
surface. When this happens, a person is experiencing memory recall, but only the
felt aspect of memory recall. Let me give you an example. Imagine that a
woman is walking through an aisle where she suddenly smells the same cologne
that the man who molested her was wearing when she was young during an
assault. She may not even consciously realize that she has smelled this smell
or that it reminds her specifically of this experience. She might suddenly feel
a sense of total doom. Her heart might start pounding. She might feel totally
isolated regardless of there being so many other people in that place with
her. And she might feel a panic attack coming on. Now because she has not
consciously put two and two together, the experience that she is having does
not make sense in the context of her environment. The smell of that cologne
was a trigger and we may now say that she is triggered.
It may be a term that you hear. The completion process can in general be
divided into steps. However, it is meant to flow as one continuous process. so
that you can get a better feel for completion process. I'm going to outline
these steps for you really quickly. First, when you experience a trigger,
you're going to turn your attention inward and place all of that attention
on that feeling with unconditional presence. Essentially, you will be doing
a practice of emotional experiencing. The next part, step two, you're going to
invite the memory that is attached to the trigger to surface to your conscious
awareness. Three, you're going to choose with your free will to reexperience the
memory in firsterson perspective if possible, opening up to the full sensory
experience of it with curiosity and accepting what happened exactly as it
was without changing anything. And you're going to validate the
feeling/experience contained within that memory. Step four,
the process is then going to switch from an active witnessing experience to an
active visualization process. And you are going to bring your adult self into
that memory. You can choose to either experience this from the perspective of
your adult self or the perspective of your child self within the scene. Or you
may choose to switch back and forth. Step five, the adult is going to provide
some kind of resolve for the child regarding the traumatic experience
within this memory. One of the most important aspects of this is for the
adult self to validate the child's self's emotions and experience.
Step six, once the relief is felt, you're going to speed up this healing
process by calling back any other potential aspects of yourself that may
have fractured off from you in this traumatic experience.
Seven, you are then going to meet the child/children's
plural needs within the scene of the memory. This step is designed to bring
resolve to the distress being experienced within that memory. Eight.
Once you have met the child's needs, you're going to give this child the
choice to stay within the now altered memory, making sure that the child's
reason for wanting to stay is actually in alignment with resolve for that
child. Or what's more likely is that you're going to take the child to your
safe haven. The safe haven is a safe space that you create within your mind
to bring these children to any aspect of you that has been in this traumatic
experience. Nine, if the child chose to go to the safe haven, you're then going
to bring the child to the safe haven and deactivate that memory. Step 10 is you
are then going to create purification and healing for the child or children to
create clearing and distance from the past. This is usually done within that
safe space by bathing the child in healing water. 11. You're then going to
meet the child's needs and create more resolve for the traumatic experience
that they are now out of and away from, but this time within the context of the
safe haven. And step 12, once the child is in that state of improvement, you're
going to provide the option for the child to stay in that safe haven or to
merge with you in the here and now. Either option is perfectly fine. And
given the answer, you're going to do whatever brings about a sense of
completion regarding the experience. Now, from that experience of completion
regarding the resolve of that traumatic experience, you're going to return to
conscious perspective in the here and now, just like you would if you were say
coming out of a meditation. And then based off of what you experienced and
became aware of, you're going to decide upon how to practically and tangibly
implement that resolve or improvement in your day-today life in the here and now.
The completion process leads you to the unresolved experience so that you can
consciously create that resolve that you never got to create with it. When we
resolve distress rather than cope with it, we're able to weave the negative
experience into the fabric of who we are in a way that benefits us. We are no
longer plagued by painful negative emotions about it. We're able to live in
the present moment without it feeling like we keep getting dragged back to the
painful memory of an experience. Essentially, what happened in the past
no longer controls the way that you feel or behave in the present. This doesn't
mean that we feel good about it or even thankful that it happened, which some
people think healing is all about. Rather, it's no longer going to feel
like a live wound that hurts when pressed or that you're still struggling
with. Instead, it'll feel more like an inactive scar. One thing to be aware of
is that the completion process is not a trit mental exercise. It's a very, very,
very deep healing process, and it changes your life. In the hours, days,
weeks, and months that follow, it can cause you to make totally different
choices. do different things, attract different people and not have the same
reactions that you had before. Healing is very very very different from pain
relief. The vast majority of people find their way to spirituality and to
self-help through pain. This means they they are in a state of distress. When
people are in pain and distress, they want two things. They want to heal,
which is actual resolution for the problem itself, and they want immediate
pain relief. But these two things can often be like
two roads that are diverging in completely opposing directions. You're
probably familiar with anesthetics, otherwise known as painkillers, such as
like Novocane or morphine, right? The benefits of anesthetics goes without
saying, but there is a real downside to them if they are used in the wrong
situations or the wrong ways. Pain exists for a reason. Pain is always the
indication that something needs to be paid attention to, done, or changed so a
person can come back into alignment with their well-being.
For example, the pain of touching a hot stove is calling you to remove your
hand. If you could not feel the pain, you would leave your hand on top of that
stove and it would burn completely. The completion process is not designed to
just make things feel better. It's designed to create radical healing
change. And that process does not always feel good. I'm going to give you an
example so you know what I mean. Let's imagine that there's a woman who decides
to start using the completion process. The reality is that in her childhood,
she lived in a really dysfunctional home where she was treated a lot like a doll
rather than a child. Let's imagine that her mother dressed her in whatever she
wanted her to wear, only met her needs when she decided that it was okay to
have those needs. Um maybe expected her to have the interest that she wanted her
to have, refused to recognize any boundaries and ignored her completely
when she behaved anything less than sweet. This little girl had to abandon
her sense of self to conform to her mother. She learned that this was the
way to have safe relationships and to have any chance at getting her needs met
at all. Now, fast forward. This woman, having adapted to her trauma, has chosen
a life for herself that is a direct byproduct of those adaptations.
The husband she chose, the life focus she chose, the friends she has, the way
she dresses, where she lives. Now, when she starts using the completion process,
not only does she have to really see the reality of what was not okay about her
childhood and feel that pain deeply in her being, it isn't like she's going to
come out of the process and feel amazing towards the life she's living. Imagine
that she chose to marry a man who, just like her mother, expects her to be a
doll, nothing more than what he wants and expects her to be. It's unlikely
that she's going to come out of the completion process and suddenly feel
better in her particular marriage. It's more likely that she's suddenly not
going to be okay with the things she used to act like she was okay with. In
fact, she's going to want to change her marriage. And how will her husband react
to that? There's a real potential he's going to react badly to that. And so,
marital conflict is going to ensue. She has, after all, presented herself as one
thing only to begin changing into someone else. maybe somebody that he
would not have wanted to marry in the first place.
So this means potentially even a divorce when she is going through a process like
that as a result of healing. It doesn't feel good. It may feel necessary,
but necessary things don't always feel good. It will be an improvement, but it
sure may not feel like that when you are in the middle of it. Because of this, it
can sometimes feel like the completion process makes things worse before it
making them better. So, I'm going to say this one time. No, I'm going to say it a
bunch of times. A person should not do the completion process if they are
unwilling to make real tangible changes to their life based on whatever their
individual process reveals. Another thing to become aware of is that people
are often blindsided when they expect their families to be on board with their
healing only to find their own family, maybe even friends opposing their
healing. Families tend to be very resistant to completion process as well
as to me as the creator of this process. And this is why family systems and not
only family systems, human social systems that may be friendship groups
are held together by patterns of interaction. These patterns of
interaction keep them intact the way they are. And family systems
specifically are very resistant to change. What the completion process does
is to change these patterns. For example, imagine that a family has a
pattern of the specific narrative. We are super close. But then a person goes
through the completion process and faces the reality that nobody in the family
line has any emotional closeness at all. They may get together on holidays. Every
single holiday. They may take group photos and give each other opportunities
and resources, but no one really knows anyone else on a deeper emotional level.
Nobody's really there for each other when they're in pain. Now, when they try
to bring up the idea that no one in the family is actually close and suggest
changing things to have a deeper emotional connection,
that puts pressure on the rest of the family members to change, right? And
many members of this family, if not all, are likely to fight this idea and try to
keep things the way they are, as well as to ardently defend the way it is. And
the way that it is is right and this new idea is wrong and bad. Or, for example,
imagine that a pattern a person has is doing what gets them approval in their
family. They may do the completion process and realize something like, "Oh
no, I'm totally without passion regarding what I'm doing for a living."
So this person can't keep living for the approval of others no matter the the
other cost to themselves which is what they've been doing. They may quit their
job thereby breaking the pattern of behaving in a way to please the family
rather than themselves. And this is likely to trigger a fullblown family
systems crisis. Certain family members are likely to see themselves as victims
and treat the person as the villain. Some may make threats of withdrawal of
support. Others are likely to blame the completion process itself for messing
with the person's mind. Others may start sending you slander
about me. When you change, it forces any system that you are a part of to change
too. Most especially social systems like families and friend groups etc. You can
very easily find yourself in the position of the scapegoat when you are
changing yourself. Doesn't matter whether you're changing yourself. the
completion process is something else. But when you're changing yourself and
changing the way you interact with others and especially when you're trying
to enroll any other people into that change, it's very hard for other people.
This doesn't mean don't do it. It means be very smart about it and don't simply
expect a positive supportive reaction. If you do get a positive supportive
reaction and a willingness to change along with you, consider yourself part
of the very real blessed rarity minority.
When you can't resolve and integrate the experiences that you have been through
in your life through no fault of your own, part of you remains frozen in time
affecting your entire life. You deserve to live a life that is free from this
effect. And so I have created the completion process so that you have a
tool to bring about the healing so that you can experience not only internal
peace but also fulfillment. If you have an interest in learning more
about this process as well as how to do it and if you're interested in trying it
out for yourself, you have some options. The first option is to do it through the
ecourse. I designed this ecourse to really hold your hand and lead you
through all the knowledge and different exercises as well as doing the process
itself. If you like this option, you can find the completion process course on my
website at tealsswan.com. The second option is to be led through
the process by a certified practitioner of the process. For years, I've been
training people around the world to facilitate this process and having
someone to do this with you may feel like the support that you need. If you
feel like this option, you can visit the completionprocess.com.
And the third option is to read the book I wrote about it. This book is quite
literally titled The Completion Process. You can find it anywhere books are sold.
The Completion Process has transformed my own life. It has transformed the
lives of millions of people around the world and it can completely transform
your life for the better. Have a good week.
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