Twincloud's Youtube Subtitle Extractor
16:22
I don't give a damn back to you
[Applause] I'm sorry I'm just kidding
around what was your first name here in the blue shirt oh Nick oh Nick good to
see you Nick now Nick what do you do for a living I work in construction oh
construction what kind of construction what do you do work with the general
contractor you work with the general you're not the general contractor you
work with one I will so what is your title Nick no I guess you can consider
it a framing and drywalling Framing and drywalling got anything think for that
dumb [Applause]
ass you know Nick we got jokes for doctors and lawyers nether trash
collectors but the Fring and drywalling guy not in our arsenal of Snappy com
[Applause] [Music]
[Applause] and we're not going to bother going home
and writing any cuz hey what are the odds
now sorry it was Nick right was it Nick or
Nick yeah Nick Nick and Knight n and Nick D
asses be nice to the crowd I don't give a
damn all right now some of the folks signed these and some of them didn't I
don't get the damn right all right where is uh Valerie what is that I don't know
what is it Ren Renee Ry Ry Valerie where are you I hear right there says Dear
Walter how do you take off 10 years to look younger oh knee oh that would be
Thompson's water seal [Music]
this is from Milton dear Walter my wife sits at home all day and won't work how
can I get her to get a job well Milton you're going to have to
die that'll teach the [Applause]
where is Nick monos oh oh Nick Nick says Dear Walter you're
looking a little frustrated when's the last time you got
laid oh crap I recognize him that's our gay
stalker I need medical transportation [Applause]
uh this is from Steven dear Walter could you please recommend a good
Proctologist Tony Whittier oh or Tony from Whittier
California pay attention idiot I'm sorry dear Walter time and time again I
have filled out the the sheet six times you never answer my question what gives
let's get that [Applause]
one this is from Chris it's Chris it's a girl Chris dear W you read this uh dear
Walter after nine and a half years my boyfriend still hasn't popped the
question let's just poop the question Chris you need to learn to sty
I think how the hell do you poop the
question I guess you should listen from the other
end dear Walter why don't chicken breasts have nipples
[Laughter] what I guess cuz if they got too cold
they poke a hole in the package new from the colonel chicken and
tits [Laughter]
dear Walter what is one of Jeff's deepest darkest Secrets oh he has a a
sex blowout doll no I don't yes she do know yeah and
the sick part is he makes her talk and boy does she lie will you stop
it dear Walter what was your favorite toy as a child
dirt and we were happy kids nowadays they had too much they got
the internet they got video games computer crap hell there re them passing
out condoms in high schools did you know that yeah good God when I was that age
we had to walk five miles to get a condom
uphill in the snow with a boner ohop
all right I threw this one away because I thought it was kind of over the line
but I think we've crossed that a couple times you read it why I just can't you
read it all I don't care dear Walter why is it that I gag when I brush my tongue
but not when I give my boyfriend oral [Applause]
sex well obviously your toothbrush is bigger
and that's W there we go all right so you told me you've been getting on the
computer a lot lately oh yeah been getting on
Facebook what you get on Facebook yeah what do you do on Facebook I like
getting on there and defriending everybody
possible why just so I wonder what the hell they did wrong it's funny as hell
that's not nice I know if it was nice it wouldn't be funny as hell I did actually
lose a friend on Facebook the other day without defriending him how's that well
an old bloody line posted that his wife died oh I clicked
like then I posted line still alive sad place so you're getting into social
networking yeah a little bit you know what I don't understand is why young
couples today keep nude photos of themselves on their phones and then
texting to each other what the hell when I was young in dating my wife wife I
never thought she's so beautiful I'm going to marry her the first I'm going
to send her this picture like [Applause]
balls what people ask me all the time if my show is familyfriendly what am I
supposed to say now it depends on your family
well since you've gone there do you and your wife have a decent love life oh she
does things to mix it up now and then really yeah she lot a tear of handcuffs
really yeah like I need another inliner that I'm suring a life
sentence handcuffs at our age that's like 50 Shades of Olden
gray so is there good communication between you two I guess the other night
she said your lips say no but your eyes say yes would you say I have glockoma
so how's the actual love life you mean sex yes it's always doggy style Walter
yeah she rolls over and plays dead then I just lick myself and go to
sleep I'm sorry Walter come on good C when you can
paint vivid pictures in everybody's heads
that was a then go yes it was say and I Walter thanks everybody that's Walter
there we go shut the hell
[Applause] up Walter happy to be here oh
Overjoyed last week I was lying on of the chale and I couldn't decide gee
should I stay in Hawai or go to freaking Santa Ana
[Applause] my God I can die happy
now fine City I don't give a damn what's wrong with you I don't know
it's hot as hell outside my Skin's all dry and itchy you
put me in a sweater sure as hell not going to ask you for lotion
[Applause] you know you you don't have to do this
yeah I could get a real job what would you do I want to be a
greeter at [Applause]
[Laughter] Walmart what the hell so
funny at Walmart what would be your opening line oh Loc under the Walmart
get your and get [Applause]
out have a nice day anything else wrong I don't know my
life and I couldn't find any place to park anywhere near this stinking joint
and some jerk pulled up in a brand new Mercedes goes right in the handicap spot
he got out of the car and there's nothing wrong with him don't you hate
that so I ran his ass
over I made an honest man out of them and his mother got out the other
side started swinging her crutches at me took her out with the
door don't you feel kind of bad a Hell in Carol
good thing the police didn't see I ain't afraid of the cops around sand to an you
seen some of these guys what cops on bicyles what's wrong with that how
intimidating is this sorry L little Jing [Applause]
Jing what are they doing they arrest somebody all right in the
basket yes ladies I wrote that joke yeah you can tell the rookie cops they got
playing cards in their [Applause]
[Music] spokes since everybody was coming in
tonight they were given an opportunity or two to ask you a question yeah so
before the show started I grabbed a small handful yeah I think you should
answer him I don't give a damn you pile here in a blue shirt in
the front R would you throw one out hello did you
feel one out where are you going sit the hell
down you bastard this is TV the
hell think he's going to take a piss I these are extensive tickets yeah
extensive setup lot of production yeah divide it all up that he's gone for
three minutes he taking a $600 [Applause]
piss dumb ass [Applause]
is he coming back
okay little late [Applause]
right okay [Applause]
[Applause] [Applause]
[Music] what's that guy's first name Mike Mike
dumb ass are the sneers H up in the bathroom
yes there oh night they're waiting for you
like kind of tough to go with all this pressure isn't it
m Mike get
out Mike's taking a long time could be having trouble
what does Knight do for a living Transportation he he's he does
transportation what the hell does that mean medical Medical
Transportation the is [Applause]
that there is welcome back Dum
ass Mike could you could you hear us in there
Mike somebody pull his string he's not [Applause]
talking Mike could you hear us in there I can't hear him oh you could well we
could hear you [Applause]
you didn't wash your hands [Applause]
[Music]