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11:10
please help me welcome my buddy peanut how are you doing peanut you're pretty
good how are you i'm fine that's good that's good that's good
so you like it here oh i love being in dc
[Music] it's great and i love this theater the
warner the warner theater it's fantastic and they have a cool website right they
got a link to our website which is just on ham.com and i think i pulled it i
think that peanuts are stopping what's the mistake what's the
what the hell is wrong with you we cannot talk at the same time
i thought you doctor i thought you dog that's it
focus [Applause]
i am so sick of this crap i have tried going solo
what happened kept falling off this freaking thing and i
why did you interrupt me you mispronounced my name what you
mispronounced my last name i know it's dunham now when you look at it it
says don't ham just on hand ah
you're the other white knee don't confuse everyone it's dunham it
says dunham [Music]
um [Music]
you know you know when you think about it 30 seconds it's actually jeff
don't have it's not calm
what jeff faffa you're using an unneeded f
jeff [Music]
am i pissing you off of her [Applause]
you know the weird part is i am actually pissing him off
and he would like to kill me but he will not because that would be a form of
suicide you want to kill me no i don't you do no
yes no yes no there's no essential feelings shuffle
[Applause] [Music]
hey does your wife drive that car the prius oh sure oh good yeah how's she
doing my wife she's fine i'm good yeah how's the family
they're fine oh good so i was just wondering
thanks a lot yes everything's fine everything's fine okay okay just want to
make sure great all right so because i'm your cow
thank you so i'm concerned what about what well i was just thinking
the other day you know we're on the road a lot
yeah you're away from home a lot and your wife's at home alone
a lot okay
and she's not exactly bad looking no she's hot
and her prime is now yours was 20 years ago
and she's home right hello are you sure
yeah how do you know i trust her
what if she's then with someone else like me
oh come on you go purple you never go back
i really don't think my wife has slept with you peanut well think about this
for a second in a twisted kind of way
all five of us on stage have slept with your life
when you're wacky and having a great time that's me
[Music] when you're pissed off and lying are
thinking why did i marry this broad that's walter
when you're so angry you want to kill her that's ahmed
what is jose jalapeno on a stick you're a sick man
[Applause] good evening jose hola senor
all right it's it's good to see you it's good to see you
us in your head excuse me what who the hell is half
or so jeff no he said half it's the same thing uh no it's not
jose what'd you say i say senor what the f now i said
it's all the same wait didn't you watch session these trees
jeff is death half his head and cry this is that
one of these things just doesn't belong here
tonight's show is sponsored by the sound [Applause]
i'm sorry jose he's okay okay he's an idiot
cause you know what i heard the other day i heard that some folks get
something called a coffee in a i don't know what that is i don't want to know
what that is and please don't let it ever show up on the ninja at starbucks
on the other hand if you really want to pull an awesome joke when you're
standing in line secretly write it on the chalkboard menu
then you get to register it point to it and say last time i had that one frozen
it gave my butt the shivers i'm going to open my own coffee place
this could be a whole new line of beverages for me the cathedral
the best part of waking up this coffee in your butt
stop it how have you been like this yes
sir you're addicted to caffeine is there any way you can get off it i
tried attached that didn't work why i stuck it on my arm took it off my arm
rolled it up smoked it yay and then i tried some kind of gum but
that didn't work gum because i got it mixed up with a condom and that was a
big ass bubble i blew right there you lost a shoe no dude i found one
what the happened it's not flirty
i hate you i guess i know what we're not gonna see
on tv i'm a professional
sorry i just kind of got away from me there
sorry peanut [Music]
stand up come on stand up
you're fine close your mouth a happy hat when i got
a hat close your mouth
apparently they can understand you and i can't
yeah apple
can you close your mouth oh ah
what oh help me to close your mouth
[Music] oh yeah
what the hell it's not a hit [Music]
see so i hit
what [Music]