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I think this is the first time I've cried because it's so cool. If I had to pick just one thing successful people do well, it would be this: [Music]
I meet 50 people a day and almost 1,500 a month, and if I had to pick a way to truly communicate effectively, it's easy.
It's using titles and context when answering. "Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Manager." Adding titles to your responses makes you seem more affectionate
. You can't be that stoic. You can't seem that approachable. It goes one step further and adds context. For example, if
I get an order saying, "Please process this by 3 PM tomorrow." "Yes, sir. I'll send it to you via KakaoTalk by 3 PM tomorrow.
" I use the "cuckoo" approach. It's just a reminder that I understand what the person said . Mentioning their name and using titles
conveys both their presence and respect. It's so simple, but not many people say it like this.
It becomes your own competitive edge. I'm 32 now, and my cousin just turned 20. One day, we were having this conversation
. He had so many things he wanted to do. He seemed so beautiful. But he always ended his conversations with these words: "I'm going to start working out next week." "I'm going to learn Muay Thai next week," and "
I'm going to start a business in 10 years." There's nothing in his mind map that says he's going to do it right now.
For Muay Thai, which he said he'd call next week, you can search for it on Naver and call three local companies to compare prices and schedule a consultation. Dieting
means starting with the chicken breast from the chicken I'm eating right now. We put off things we think we can't do now until a week, two weeks, or a year later.
A week is something that can be done in 10 minutes, so it's better to do it now. If I had to name one thing most successful people excel at
, it's asking for help. Asking for feedback on their ideas . Getting help with insights they lack. Help
is a tremendous blessing in life. Those who truly use and receive this blessing well, and those who give it well, have a much higher chance of success. That's why
I encourage you to ask for help. That way, you can move faster and more meaningfully than you might think . I, too, received government assistance and grants. I've also
lent a tremendous amount of energy and talent to the members I started with. Now, because each member of the team has their own position, I'm
able to commute back and forth to Gangnam for meetings for two hours. We all need each other's help . That's how it works. Human nature
collapses if we don't lean on each other. That's what being human and in business is all about. I think being able to reach out like that is a skill. My younger friend, who just turned 20,
really cherished friends. I couldn't live without them either. There's a saying that friends embrace each other. Ultimately, we speak and think
alike. I think that's what true friendship is. As we become adults, our values, actions, and words change dramatically.
Many of the restrictions we once had are lifted. Finding ourselves within that freedom is what true adulthood is all about. I don't often see friends who think and act differently from me
. I have a lukewarm relationship with all my friends. It doesn't cool off, nor does it flare up.
I see a lot of my elementary school friends and high school besties, even if you look at them by military grade. That's because they've started families, started jobs, and live far apart. So,
I really want to tell them not to be too attached to their friends, not to think of them as your whole world, and not to get hurt . Your early and mid-twenties
are darker than you might think. You don't know what tomorrow will bring. That's why plans aren't well-made until your early to mid-twenties. But strangely,
if you live at your own pace, after you get through this, you'll find more stability than you think. Don't be too impatient or compare yourself to others—
about your emotions, your finances, your career, your friends, and your family . I hope you learn about yourself at your own pace. And I
want to tell you not to be stingy with spending and investing. Only those who have spent money know what's valuable. That doesn't mean you should just spend it all
. I was watching a YouTube program called "Naked World History." It was about Marilyn. I was so absorbed in it that I think it was the first time I cried because it was
so wonderful. I'd only ever thought of her as a pinup or a sex icon, but she was truly amazing. Born into this obsession, raised in a private academy,
and having a difficult childhood, what was truly remarkable about Marilyn was that she didn't hesitate to invest in herself.
Even while working incredibly hard as a factory worker, she dreamed of becoming an actress and attended Actin School with her meager wages. Even when she was a renowned actress,
she consistently attended acting school. She knew how to invest in her own worth. She's someone who has accumulated talent through experience, learning, and traveling, and will eventually use
it. I hope people don't shy away from learning and enjoying cultural experiences . Money is truly fascinating; you have to know how to use it wisely to earn it.
The more people you meet, the more surprising some of them are from your initial impressions . The first moment a person's character is revealed is
when things are going well. For example, stocks can fluctuate moderately and then suddenly take a sharp upward turn . Some people become more humble, while others are overly ambitious.
They're mistaken. They think things will always go well. As Professor Kim Chang-wook said, people have two delusions: first, they think things will always go well. Second, they think
things will always go poorly. The truly humble adult I've ever met was Champiri. I first met Champiri, a drinker, at a gathering called Alpha.
I didn't really enjoy drinking, so I didn't know him well. At that gathering, someone asked, "What's your motto, Champiri?" Champiri said, "Don't be pretentious.
Don't hurt others." It sounded like he meant, "Don't be pretentious." But even if you want to cut someone off,
you can't say anything nice about them. But I really felt that those words were born from a lot of experience and patience.
I don't like people who are pretentious either. Even if you do cut someone off, try not to let it show. But it's about keeping distance, not cutting ties
. It's about keeping distance. And the moments when character is revealed are when lovers break up or colleagues leave. That's when
the real person comes out. I started a business not long ago, and I worked for a young marketer for about three or four years. Even after he left, a year later, I
went to his wedding to give him my blessings. He texted me on Teacher's Day, saying he was the first person I'd ever met and still thinks he was a wonderful CEO.
I'm so grateful. We still keep in touch even after he leaves. But it's not easy. There are also people who spread harsh rumors or baseless stories after they leave
. It's not about respecting the people who stay. Good news travels fast, but bad news travels fast too. And
even if you keep it in the organization for six months, the relationship lasts. Let's see when we shine the brightest. You're a colleague who understands. You have to be clean until the end.
I think that's when your true character is revealed, especially when you're drunk. But our country's laws are really strange. What kind of laws are they?
There's a reduced sentence for a crime committed while drunk. I think that should be abolished. That's who they really are. There's no one around me who doesn't drink well
. They have cute drinking habits. My husband, for example, gets upset when you don't come to the door. He gets upset like that. But unless you swear a lot after drinking,
get stronger, or lie down, or quit drinking, it doesn't change. That's good. But when you wake up, you can't remember. That's when people go crazy
. I recently went to a Korean medicine clinic, and the doctor said this. People who are usually tense drink often,
but because they're always tense, they keep reaching for alcohol. So, when you're drunk, you have to distance yourself from others because drinking isn't a good punishment. Realize this for yourself. When dealing with interpersonal relationships,
you often find yourself thinking, "Oh, I'm not the only one." But I feel this way a lot, not just with others, but with my family as well. Why
do I feel this way? There are times when I need to speak up, and times when I need to be more reserved. When is that someone I don't see as having a long-term connection
with? Why waste energy on someone I'm not going to see for long? Don't lecture someone you're about to cut ties with, or say things like, "This is why I'm breaking up with you." Why bother? Just
keep your distance. I have a friend I haven't spoken to in seven or eight years. He received a text message announcing a death
. A family member passed away. So, I was shocked when I received the text while I was at work, so I wrote a long letter back. "You must have been so shocked. I'll definitely visit when I have time.
Take care of yourself," I replied. But the next day, when I clicked on the obituary, I saw the funeral had already taken place. I thought it would be easy, but I
hadn't prepared any funeral expenses. That was my intention. I offered my condolences, but I guess I didn't really want the relationship to continue. But
I kept hearing this. To me. You're an inconsiderate friend. If you had a fiery personality back in the day, you wouldn't have contacted me. But there's no need.
That's why I don't explain myself, because I'm that kind of person, so don't misunderstand. Why? Because I have no intention of continuing the relationship. And you get close to people who talk behind your back. It
just leads to a constant stream of negative stories. I think I thought keeping my distance was the way to protect myself . So, if possible , try to date someone who has a healthy body and mind
. And even if you're having a little trouble, try not to pass it on to others . If you think I'll get better by talking about my depression and hardships and passing it on to others,
then that's what you should do. Why? To whom? To a doctor. You should go to a doctor. They'll give you medicine. Even
if you tell your friends or family, they won't give you any medicine. So, having someone with a healthy body and mind by your side is considered healthy.
It's a science. It's a fact. That's what I think. I like it too. Hmm.
[Music] These days, people start working early, so even if you graduate from school, you're still in your early twenties. Some of the juniors at our company aren't even past their mid-twenties
yet. They're all precocious. Even in their 30s, if you had to pick one behavior that seems to be absent from people in their 20s, what would it be?
Cursing. Cursing. Like I mentioned last time, using cheap words or being a bit harsh. Yeah,
I think there are things like that. When I think about it, there are three behaviors that really seem absent: pretending to know something when you don't, and
pretending to know a lot when you know a little. There's a need for conversation, but some people speak as if they're teaching, while others pretend to know something when they don't
. This is because the other person might be more knowledgeable and in-depth on the topic . But if I pretend to know a little more, it quickly
becomes a problem. The atmosphere gets tense and the conversation becomes empty. Talk. You pretend to know something when you don't, and then the other person knows a little more. Then you start to insist
, pretending to know everything with just a little bit of knowledge. I 've observed this from a third-party perspective, and it seems a bit absent. Another thing that seems absent
is blaming the environment, even after you've been in society for quite some time. We use various adverbs to justify our actions and words. "I'm
living without it now because of past trauma." Blaming the environment and rationalizing it makes it seem like we're likely to live without it in the future.
To be honest, we're trying to cover up our laziness and lack of willpower by blaming the environment. To be honest, this seems different in our 20s, and
after we turn 30, we need to reflect on ourselves with humility rather than focusing on the environment . At this year's commencement ceremony, I hoped that, ironically, human growth
comes from suffering and self-reflection. In the diet video, Billy goes on and on about "no pain, no game," and keeps pushing us forward. "Are you having a hard time?
Are you losing weight? You're growing. " He keeps saying things like that. When suffering comes, self-reflection leads to growth
. But if we lack self-reflection, growth doesn't happen. Ultimately, that's why, of all the things that seem to be missing after 30, the biggest one for me
is rationalizing by blaming the environment. I felt this even more strongly because there's a program I enjoy watching as much as I do solo called "Oh Eun-hyung's Report
." It's a program where married couples talk about their struggles . I watched two episodes back-to-back, and there was
one couple whose behavior was so unbelievably absent that I felt like I really wanted to hug them . In the first type of couple,
the woman chased her husband around so much that he lived without a cell phone for seven or eight years and couldn't even afford a single 10,000 won.
During the interview, the woman kept saying that she had suffered domestic violence from her father and witnessed him cheating, which was the trauma that led to her
behavior. She said, "I was hurt as a child, so you're the one who will help me overcome this trauma. You have to understand my sense of duty
." I thought she was a bit of a rationalizer. In fact, I saw her using trauma to rationalize actions that deserved criticism
. Clearly, what kind of life is without some kind of melancholy ? From afar, it seemed strange, but up close, everyone has their own
pain, health issues, and family problems they have to endure. I don't think there's a single person without pain.
Even the heirs of a great conglomerate have shortcomings. But the latter part was a couple, a 24-year-old husband and his ADHD wife, and their pain was visible. That trauma is
causing problems in their lives. The wife even has ADHD, so she can't keep the house organized. But they never once justify confusing this with their own trauma
. I'd love to meet that couple. They 're working so hard to make ends meet that I want to buy them a delicious meal .
They have two children. That's a long story, but it's self-deprecating to blame the environment. It seems like the parts don't really connect. In another YouTube
interview, I said that misfortune is private property. If you accumulate it little by little, it will eventually bring you good fortune. That statement had a huge impact on me and
answered the question of why I work so hard. I 'd been busy hiding my misfortune, but then I realized, "Oh, I'm a wealthy person. It gradually
turns into wealth, brings good fortune, and becomes a driving force in my work. My shortcomings are my strength." But
I don't use them as a weapon when I do something wrong. I think that's where the difference lies . I think it really depends on how I think about the shared experience
. So, if I cry a lot and say, "I'm deeply hurt , I've been greatly damaged, and you must comfort me unconditionally
," my actions are like, "You can't say anything to me because I'm in pain . You can't do that." It seems incredibly empty. Then I
wouldn't have friends. Who would listen to my complaints? Everyone is busy with their own lives. Parents don't listen. Children don't listen.
I think that type of thing comes later . Yeah, yeah. My father, born in the 1950s, said the most about humans being lonely.
He often said, "It's okay if I seem lonely, because all humans are lonely ." But listening to him, I realized it's true.
It's not just Dad who's lonely. I'm lonely too. Sang-hyun, you have your own business, so we talk a lot, but the areas of responsibility we each have to bear are different.
So, each of us has our own lives and careers we have to take responsibility for. So, being lonely alone is a journey of standing on our own. Do you agree?
When I admit my loneliness, I also acknowledge the other person's loneliness. Then I become more forgiving. But if I fall into the trap of thinking I'm the only one lonely,
I become aggressive toward the other person. I have to first acknowledge my loneliness and learn to comfort myself so I can offer genuine, sincere comfort to the other person . I'm lonely. But I've lived this long, and
I'm so lonely, and when my mom thinks like this, she gets emotional and hugs me. To live together, the first step is
to acknowledge that I'm still living a lonely and difficult life, and to learn to comfort others . I wanted to ask God a question: "Do you
exist because the world exists?" Or, perhaps, "The world exists because you exist." The hard part comes first, right? The science of happiness.
I'm reading a book called "The Science of Happiness." It says humans are born self-centered. When babies play hide-and-seek, what do they do? They just cover their own eyes. If they cover their own eyes,
they think they're hidden. Because they're self-centered, they think they can't see me if I close my eyes . They lack a certain level of awareness of others.
How can you hide when you become an adult? Just take your eyes off. You have to see with your own eyes first. Those who think the world
exists because they exist are called solipsists. If you close your eyes, the world disappears. So, those who are self-centered choose that path, but to grow and live together,
they need to develop a foundation of altruistic thinking. Altruism doesn't mean relying on others. I'm talking about the area where I can understand and embrace
others, taking the center stage . If I'm powerless , who can I protect? Who can I care for? Life becomes tough, after all. That's why crime rates
rise. Ji-haeng and Geun-man both agree with that, so I circled it. Self-centered people
are often unhappy. The feedback they receive is consistently bad. Who would smile and offer kind words to someone who speaks selfishly and is self-centered? They
say they're selfish, but the other person's expression or feedback won't be very positive. What happens to me? Because I lack the space, I become more depressed. I become worse.
They say people repeat cycles of bad and good. Knowing the source of my happiness and being altruistic to those around me, and finding balance in doing so,
would be the right answer. But I think there are so many variables that life has no right answer. The situations are so different.
I want to read the book, too. You know? It's so, so interesting. The man chose it, but I started reading it first. But he refused to give it to me.
Why sensitive people are so considerate. What resonates so deeply with me is that Kim Sang-hyun, the writer who decided to get married, is so incredibly delicate and affectionate.
We met at Cafe Gongmyeong in Yeonnam, and Cafe Gongmyeong is famous for its cannolis. They're so crispy on the outside and moist and delicious on the inside. But the first
time we met, he cut the cannolis into four equal pieces. And while I was eating, I spilled some. But he made eye contact with me, talked to me, and
wiped all the crumbs away. "Oh my, look at this person. They're so delicate and affectionate." There's something about that. And you know when you're eating? He never picks up his spoon first
. He only picks up his spoon after everyone else is seated. I just pick it up. At first, that didn't sit well with me.
People who are affectionate and considerate are true experts. Being affectionate and considerate means being able to envision a wide range of scenarios. People with high sensitivity and sensibility.
Yes. But often, those kinds of people are less understanding. So, if you cross that line or something, you'll
end up in a situation like this, like a map sedum. If you see a kind person, you 're a lowlife. Do you know who the real experts are?
Yes. Hello. Nice to meet you. Yes, it's all good. Do that. The person who does it is noble. So innocent. Yes, good. Yes, I understand.
It's scarier when the person who does it gets angry. Be good at reading the mood at that time. They're just flat and cute. When those people get angry,
they're in their 50s, and they say they've learned a lot. What's interesting is that we think we inherited wisdom from our parents,
but my father said that. Now they're losing , and you guys are the ones who will rise. It's time for you guys to brighten the world.
He said you'll learn a lot, but ultimately, our wisdom and ways of living are learned from our elders. And as generations change, we learn and
gain more from our new friends, and I think life is truly a lifelong learning experience. Have you read the book on human relationships? Is that right? Is that right? I think that truly masterpieces
remain true even after 100 years. People 100 years ago and people today seem to have the same concerns about human relationships.
There are many truly gem-like sentences, such as "Don't criticize, criticize, or complain." In fact, it's said that positive people earn 10 million won a month
about two years faster than negative people. This means that positive people are more likely to succeed . "Don't criticize, complain, or criticize"
is the first suggestion in Dale Carnegie 's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." It seems obvious and common, but it seems true. And the second
suggestion is to give honest and sincere compliments. You might wonder what that means, but I really like those dating programs. My favorite is "Solo Hell," but
I watched "Solo Hell 2," and among the female cast members, there was a woman named Si-eun. I This is a personal opinion. For example, when someone
says something like, "Hanim, try saying 'A' or 'Da' before they finish speaking," or "Oh, then it's like that," the poet's communication skills are so kind and
gentle, but there are gestures and responses that seem a bit lacking in sincerity . The words that come out of the mouth after thoroughly processing the mind and heart
are truly different. And they don't really deepen. If we divide conversational relationships into three broad types,
the introverted type who completely avoids conversation is the better option. The third type is someone who tries to be considerate of the other person and gives personal feedback, and the third
type is someone who is extremely outgoing. I'd rather be number 1 than number 2. Once you build a connection, you can become an introvert who can have deeper conversations. But now,
if you start with number 2, it becomes burdensome for both parties. The poet struggles physically. He's expending too much of his own energy.
So, I really resonated with Dale Carnegie's second point. Was there a particularly memorable line or phrase?
There was a message about arousing desire in people's hearts. I resonated with it a lot, but I asked myself, "Am I actually doing that?"
I think this is the most important quality for a leader. There are so many elements in the phrase "arouse desire in people's hearts,"
but I think the core element is this: the communication skills to understand what that desire is from a perspective of the other person, to ask questions, and then be able to say, "Yes, that's it
. " The desire to lean on someone, the desire to talk, are all desires. For example, if you're talking to a lover,
it's the desire to fall in love. You have to make it easy for them to talk. People who arouse desire are attractive and have exceptional interpersonal skills
. It depends a little on personality, but I had that desire aroused when I met a friend. He listened to me a lot. The more
conversation I had, the more memorable it was and the more desire I generated. If you feel like you're really compatible with him, that means he
has exceptional communication skills. The characteristic of people who make others feel comfortable isn't that they're good at talking, but rather that they're good at listening
. It's more difficult to listen with open ears than to speak with a closed mouth. My mouth should be used more when asking questions. Asking honest and sincere questions to spark a desire to talk
. That was the third one, yes. [Music]